


After the Storm

by aelandair



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Fix-It, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21894793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelandair/pseuds/aelandair
Summary: Seven years after the end of the war, a strange feeling moves Kylo to venture deep into the woods of an unknown planet. He hasn't sensed anything like this in years. But it can't be what he thinks it is - Hux is long dead. Or is he?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 185





	After the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> The kiss never happened, because I'm the author of this fic and I say so.  
> Also, Kylo didn't vanish after he healed Rey.  
> And I'm still calling him Kylo, just because I want to. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy my attempt at a fix-it fic!

The air feels muggy around him, thick and hot and sticky. Perspiration drips from the leaves and bushes around him. Sweat clings to his forehead, but he has given up wiping it away hours ago. Instead, he lets the droplets run down his face, over his back and chest, plastering his clothes against his skin. There’s a crackling sort of energy flowing all around him. He doesn’t need the Force to know there’s a storm coming, probably a big one. Hopefully he can reach his destination before that. 

Kylo doesn’t really know where he’s going. All he has is a feeling, vague, always tickling the edges of his consciousness, but he can never quite grasp it. It’s like a shadow dancing in his periphery, and when he turns his head to look for it, it vanishes. Of course, this kind of vagueness isn’t unusual nowadays.

The feeling was a surprise, when he noticed it. It’s been years since he’s felt anything remotely like it. At first he thought it must have been a fluke, but then it came back, again and again, until there was nothing left to do but go and find it. 

His search has taken him into the deep forests of the planet. There are barely any populated cities littering it’s surface, which is why Kylo chose to spend some time here initially. As far as he knows, the woods are only populated by wild animals - people don’t venture here, usually. He understands why. The underbrush is thick, almost impossible to maneuver at times, and he’s stepped into deep puddles of mud too often to count now. No one in their right mind would venture as deep into the woods as he is trying to do. 

An excellent hiding place, therefore. 

An insect hums near Kylo’s ear, and he swats it away, annoyed. The feeling is growing stronger, maybe, but his grasp on it wavers, an unpredictable ebb and flow. The air is growing heavier by the second, weighing down on him, making his movements slow. 

There was a time when he would have located the source of it in minutes. It would have been a beacon in the Force, a spike of white hot energy, and he would have found what he’s looking for in no time at all. But things aren’t like they used to be, and all that’s left is a hazy sense of _something_. He hopes it turns out to be what he thinks it is. There’s no way to be sure until he arrives. All he can do is keep looking. 

He pushes aside a heavy branch blocking his way, climbs over a stack of slick, mossy rocks. The sounds of insects and crying birds in the treetops, and the cracks and snaps around him that could be steps or just the way the forest sounds, are making it hard to think, the cacophony of it all leaving his skin crawling with discomfort and nervousness. 

But the feeling is growing stronger. 

It’s still faint, and not at all certain, more like a ghost than anything else. But Kylo is sure he’s at least moving in the right direction. Well, as sure as he can be, anyway. 

Thick trees with leaves as big as his torso, weighing down the branches, grow in front of him. He ducks under the curtain of green, a sickly sweet smell wafting into his nose as he tries to weave his way through the leaves. There is green everywhere around him. It’s disorienting. 

Kylo quickens his step, as much as he can while fighting against the local flora. He stumbles, his boot catching on a branch, and throws his hand out to steady himself against a tree, or grab onto a branch, but there’s nothing, suddenly, and he falls out of the thicket. He nearly lands on his face, manages to brace his fall at the last second, fingers slipping in the muddy earth. 

He stands up slowly, carefully, but thankfully he isn’t injured from the fall. Kylo looks around. He’s landed on a small clearing. The forest is thinner, the ground more even, making it easier to walk. He even glimpses the cloud-covered sky between the foliage as he cranes his head. He can smell the rain, can feel the forest waiting for it, and he knows it’ll come soon. He should hurry.

He’s about to take a step, keep walking, when the feeling spikes. 

It hits him suddenly, surprisingly hard, and makes him gasp out loud. It’s been years since he felt anything even remotely like it, and it’s making his head spin with the sheer improbability of it all. He feels like something is pressing against his head and into his mind, a sharp pain, and a thrumming starts low in his skull. A pulling sensation in his stomach makes him almost double over, a wave of sudden nausea running through him. And then there’s this: That spark, the one he’s been looking for, just for a short moment, but undeniably _there_ , and so, so close. 

Kylo takes a shaky step, then another one and - it’s to his left, somewhere, so he turns that way, and starts running. Back into the thicket, he stumbles over rocks and branches and bushes, pushes past tall towering flowers dripping with a mysterious, bitter smelling substance. He’s so close, he can feel it in his teeth, rattling his skull. He can’t run as fast as he wants to, but he still tries, trips again, and then he rounds a huge formation of rocks and then just -

Stops. 

His breath catches in his throat, a lump forming there, threatening to suffocate him. His heart is beating erratically, maybe loud enough for others to hear, and he’s scared for a moment it might jump right out of his chest. His whole body starts to tremble, and maybe he’s going to fall down. It seems possible. Everything seems possible. 

Because, even if it shouldn’t be possible, even though he should be _dead_ , there he is, and Kylo can’t breathe, because he’d never thought-

It’s Hux. 

He’s half turned away from Kylo, is bent over what seems to be a small garden patch, tying a canvas to iron rods sticking out of the earth to cover the plants. Kylo takes a moment to just look. Take him in. 

He can only see Hux’s profile, and nothing specific from the distance, but he can see enough. Though Hux has changed, undeniably, there’s no doubt it’s him. 

His red hair is soft, slightly longer than it used to be, and hangs unstyled over Hux’s forehead. His cheeks and chin are covered in hair as well, but the beard isn’t untidy, just looks like he hasn’t shaved in a while. He’s wearing a khaki singlet, clinging to his back with sweat and leaving his pale arms bare, and brown canvas pants with multiple large pockets. His boots are worn and speckled with dirt. It’s so different from anything Kylo has seen him wear before, light years away from the pristine lines of his black uniform. But also fitting, somehow.

The feeling is so strong now Kylo feels like he might burst. It’s like someone has sunk an anchor into his chest and is pulling him towards Hux with as much force as possible, like they are two magnets drawn together, and Kylo can’t do anything but gravitate towards him. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t turn away. 

He takes a stumbling step in Hux’s direction. A branch snaps under his shoe, and the noise startles Hux. He whips a blaster out that Kylo didn’t notice before and turns around, a snarl on his lips. 

“Who’s there?” he shouts. His voice is rougher than it used to be, but he’s as fierce as ever. 

Kylo steps out of the shadows, onto the clearing, never taking his eyes off of Hux. He sees the muscles in Hux’s face twitch, then his eyes widen in realization, his mouth drops open. He takes down the blaster, his hand hanging limp at his side, his face slack, void of any expression. But Kylo can see, even from the distance, that there’s a storm of emotions inside his eyes. 

“Kylo?” Hux asks, and his voice breaks. 

If Kylo had the ability to speak, he would. He would. But something is lodged in his throat, preventing him from making anything except a choked off sound. He doesn’t know what to say anyway. So he nods, watches as Hux takes in a deep, shuddering breath and closes his mouth with what looks like great effort. 

They stare at each other. At a loss, probably. At least Kylo is. He has imagined this moment, sometimes, when he allowed his mind to drift on sleepless nights. He’d never really thought it would happen, thought it was impossible, after everything… But then there was that needling thought, _what if_ , and sometimes, he’d allowed himself to indulge in it. But he hadn’t really believed- not until the feeling had hit him, and even then. It’s real, though, happening now, undoubtedly. 

The feeling, of course, is Hux. 

Once, Hux had felt like the brightest point in the Force, a fire, the star to always guide Kylo back home. Sometimes being close to him, looking at him, had hurt, the way looking right at the sun hurts. Kylo had never been able to look away. He’s not able to look away now. 

There’s a different kind of pain spreading in his chest now. The feeling is dimming, going back the how the world usually feels for Kylo, and all that’s left is a muddy confusion, and at the center of it, Hux, his energy in the Force pulsating lightly. More the flickering of a candle now, less a burning hot storm. Though it’s certainly not because Hux has changed. It’s just Kylo’s skewed perception of the Force, dimming every sensation. But it can’t shut out Hux, not completely. Hux is the strongest thing Kylo has felt in years. Of course he is. It couldn’t be any other way. 

“I-” Hux starts, then stops. He clears his throat awkwardly, swallows, tries again. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was looking for you,” he manages to croak out. 

It sounds stupid, and Hux furrows his brows the second the words register, but Kylo doesn’t want to take them back. Honesty is probably the best way to go about this. If he wants Hux to listen to him explain himself instead of shooting him in the head right away. 

“How did you find me?” 

Hux is trying to regain his composure, but his voice is shaking, and his hand is gripping his blaster so tightly his knuckles are white. 

And it’s difficult to explain, how he found him, so he settles on: “I had a feeling.” 

Hux scoffs, then, and something in Kylo’s chest breaks open, because this is like old times, how it used to be, back when things were alright. Well. Maybe not alright. But better. Different. 

“You had a feeling. Right.” 

Kylo wants to say something, anything, but it’s not his place. Hux might not want to talk to him, and that would be- terrible, really, but he’ll have to accept that. He just has to wait, see what Hux will do, if he’ll send him away or- 

Something wet drops onto Kylo’s nose, making him flinch. 

He looks skyward, and a second drop lands on his cheek. Right. He knew there’d be a storm coming. The sky is covered by thick, grey clouds, darker than before, and a soft breeze has picked up, rustling the leaves overhead. Little droplets start falling onto the ground around him. 

Hux sighs. “The storm’s only going to get worse. You’re already here, you might as well come inside.” 

He turns around and starts walking to a small wooden hut, hidden between the trees on the other side of the clearing, that Kylo hasn’t noticed before, without waiting for Kylo to follow. He does though, hurries to keep up with Hux, the rainfall already becoming heavier. It’s then that he realises Hux is limping. He’s putting most of his weight onto his right side, dragging the left leg slightly. Kylo frowns. He wants to ask about it, but… not now. Maybe later. 

They walk towards the hut quickly. Hux pushes the door open and Kylo enters after him. While Hux closes the door behind them, barricading it with a complicated looking locking mechanism, Kylo takes a look at the interior. 

There’s only one room. It’s slightly bigger than it looks from the outside, but it’s by no means _big_. There’s what looks like a makeshift kitchenette opposite the door. Under the window on the left side, a small wooden table is pushed against the wall, with metal parts and various tools and knick-knacks strewn across, and a matching chair with a walking stick leaning against it. Shelfs are mounted to the walls, more tools and containers with who-knows-what stored in them. In the far right corner is a rackety looking bed with a mountain of mismatched pillows and blankets piled on top of it. Next to it, a small crate functioning as a bedside table, and at the foot of it, a basin halfway filled with water.

The place is very obviously built by Hux himself, and that’s just really impressive, because it looks good, functional, if a little run down. But then again, Hux has had years to build this shack. 

“Do you want something to drink? To eat?” Hux asks. 

“No, thank you.” The words are too polite and taste unfamiliar on his tongue.

Hux shrugs, turns towards the kitchenette and starts rummaging around the shelfs there. He gets out a mug and a tin of tea leaves. A soft smile starts spreading on Kylo’s lips, despite his better knowledge. Watching Hux prepare his tea has a familiarity to it that makes warmth bloom in his stomach. 

Hux stops in his movements, probably sensing Kylo’s stare, like he used to, and looks at him over his shoulder. 

“You can take a blanket or a pillow and sit down on the floor”, he says, then goes back to work. 

Kylo wordlessly trudges over to the bed, does as he’s told and grabs a soft blanket and arranges it on the floor for them to sit on. He thinks about it for a moment, before he takes his muddy boots off and puts them to the side. Hux probably wouldn’t appreciate it if he got dirt on his things. Then he sits down and waits. 

When Hux is finished with his tea, he limps over to Kylo and sits down heavily. He lets out an audible sigh, stretches his injured leg out and massages it briefly, before pulling his boots off and crossing his legs. His socked feet look delicate, which is an odd thing to focus on, but Kylo can’t help it. He wants to hold them in his hands, gently, massage them and press soft kisses to the arch. There was a time when he could have done it. That time is long past, though. 

Hux takes a sip from his tea, still not saying anything. He appraises Kylo silently, as if unsure what to make of him. Kylo doesn’t know what to make of Hux either, not entirely. There’s his soft pulsating warmth in the Force, of course, but other than that, he can’t even begin to guess what’s going on inside of Hux’s head. Even if he still had all his abilities, he’s not sure he would slip into Hux’s mind. He’s scared, maybe, of what he might find there. 

“This is impressive,” Kylo finally says, when the silence has gone on too long. 

The rain outside is steadily growing stronger, a heavy patter on the roof, but no water is dripping inside. 

Hux snorts, briefly looks around his home. 

“I guess it is. I have another shed for tools and parts out back, it’s where the water filter is. And a refresher. My speeder is down the hill, with the larger parts, there’s not enough room for that up here,” he explains. 

Kylo hadn’t noticed a hill. It occurs to him that he really doesn’t know anything about this place. But Hux does. Hux has lived here for a long time. And he’s been getting along perfectly fine on his own. 

“How long did this take you?” 

Hux shrugs, thinks for a moment. 

“I came here… six years ago? And then I’ve been working on it ever since. I’m not done yet. I have plans to refine the water filters, and the gardening system needs work, and I have parts for-” 

He stops himself mid-sentence, bites his lip, hard, and takes a sip of his tea. He’s always liked talking about the things he builds, Kylo remembers. 

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. Kriff, I don’t even know what’s happening here. Why the fuck are you here, Kylo?” he asks, and he sounds exhausted all of a sudden, the past seven years showing in his voice and face. His skin is freckled and red now, not space-pale like it used to be, and there are faint wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes. Maybe a grey hair or two, if Kylo looks closely. Time has left its marks on Armitage Hux. 

“I told you, I had a feeling,” Kylo starts, and Hux snorts again, but he doesn’t give him the chance to say anything, instead continues. “I touched down on the planet last week. I wasn’t looking for you, I just decided to spend some time here because no one knows this planet. But then I felt something, a presence. It took me a few days to realize it was you. And even then, I wasn’t sure, I thought it couldn’t be you, but… I had to know. So I started looking for you. And I found you.” 

He looks at Hux, expectantly, and Hux looks back, stubborn as always, lips a grim line. 

“Yes, you found me.” 

He doesn’t have anything else to say, apparently, just sips his tea again and looks out of the window. It’s darker outside, the rain coming down heavy and plentiful. They watch it hit the window in silence. Hux’s fingers start to fiddle with the pockets of his pants after a while, his nervous fidgeting another habit Kylo knew all too well in another life. He doesn’t comment on it, because he knows Hux wouldn’t like it. 

“The storms here are really something,” Hux says, his voice a little strained. “Really, the climate here is just chaotic. It’s hot and humid one second, and the next you’re in the middle of a downpour so heavy, it makes you bruise. Happened to me the first time I stayed outside during a storm. I didn’t know better, back then, I’d barely spent a month here, and didn’t know the signs. It hurt like hell. Anyways, after a storm, the temperature is much more bearable. It’s actually really nice most of the time, warm, but not too much. The storms only happen every two weeks or so, and the signs are easy to spot if you know what to look for, the air always gets disgustingly sticky, all the animals hide and-” 

He interrupts himself again. Balls his hand into a fist this time, and Kylo knows he’s driving his nails into his palm so hard it makes him wince, even though he tries to hide it behind his teacup. Hux always had the tendency to start talking and just not stop when he was nervous, and he always hated it. Another habit that hasn’t changed. And maybe if this hasn’t changed, other things are the same too. 

Kylo wants to talk about a thousand things at once, ask Hux a million questions. His thoughts are racing with the endless possibilities of what could happen, and he’s still scared that Hux might send him on his way again and they’ll never see each other again, that this is the only chance he’ll get. He says the first coherent thing he can think of. 

“What happened to your leg?” 

Hux looks down at his leg almost surprised, as if he had forgotten something was even wrong with it. Or maybe just surprised that Kylo noticed. 

“Got shot, by that stormtrooper, FN-2187, right before… right before everything went to shit. Couldn’t treat it properly, and when I got away, the damage was done,” Hux explains, pats his upper thigh absentmindedly, then winces slightly. 

“Does it hurt?” he asks hesitantly. 

Hux scoffs. “Of course it hurts. Always acts up during storms, don’t know why. It’s manageable most of the time, though.” 

Kylo nods, tries not to cringe at himself. Stupid question. Obviously a wound that doesn’t heal properly hurts, he of all people should know that. Still, he feels like he can’t ask any deeper questions, has to tread carefully, like he’s on thin ice, and talking about anything of real substance could make it break. 

“That’s… bad,” Kylo says, then winces, because that’s an even stupider thing to say. 

The snort that Hux follows with is familiar and both stings and warms Kylo up from the inside. 

“Yes, it’s certainly not ideal. I would prefer if I didn’t have to deal with it, but it’s my own fault, I guess.” 

The way Hux talks is different now. Just slightly. His accent seems softer, somehow, maybe to conceal his Imperial heritage from strangers, or maybe because there’s no one around to sneer at him in disdain when he lets it slip. His sentences aren’t as precise, everything about him more casual now. It’s not what Kylo is used to, but it suits Hux, in an unexpected way. 

The storm is well and truly there now, the rain hitting the roof in an arrhythmic pattern and running down the window. Everything outside looks grey and blurry, not at all like the colourful forest Kylo had spent hours trudging through. Thunder rumbles low in the distance, but he hasn’t seen any lightning yet, maybe a peculiarity of this planet. The temperature has also noticeably dropped. Inside the hut, it was much cooler than outside from the beginning, but now the remnants of the day’s heat seem to creep away, leaving a pleasant chilliness behind. 

Hux’s teacup makes a hollow sound as he sets it down on the floor decisively. It takes Kylo back to reality, out of his thoughts. He looks at Hux again, holds his stare as steadily as he can. There’s a fire burning in Hux’s eyes, as green and intense as they get. Kylo could get lost in them, even after all these years, maybe especially now, because he hasn’t seen them in so long, and they’re mesmerizing. Everything about Hux is. 

“I still can’t believe you’re actually here. I mean, what are the odds? I… I assumed you were dead.” 

Hux’s voice cracks on the last word, his eyes turning shimmery, lips turning down at the corners, and it breaks Kylo’s heart to see him like that. He wishes he knew what to do to comfort Hux, but he doesn’t, not really, and maybe it would be inappropriate anyway.

“I assumed you were dead too,” Kylo says instead. “I mean, you were supposed to be. Pryde… Pryde told me, after. I thought- I thought you were dead.” 

“And did you care?” Hux asks, his lips twisting into a sneer. 

Kylo frowns. “That’s not fair.” 

“Maybe.” Hux shakes his head from side to side, contemplating. But he doesn’t sound like he really cares about being unfair. He never did, and they have always said the worst things to each other, always aiming to hit where it hurts most. Maybe that’s characteristic for them, that they don’t care about how unfair they are, because in the end, it never mattered. They always used to come back to each other. Until they didn’t. 

“I just don’t understand,” Hux says, and he looks pissed now, face pinched. “What the hell were you _doing_ all these years? How did you not get caught? Did you just… wander around, without anyone noticing who you are?” 

Kylo hesitates. “It’s… complicated, I-” 

“Then explain it to me! We have all the time in the world, with this storm raging, you aren’t going to leave anytime soon.” 

Hux looks at him expectantly, and his gaze leaves Kylo no choice, really. He clears his throat, shifts around on the blanket, crosses his legs. 

“So, after you… left. Things got. Worse. Very quickly. I fought the girl, but I was… I wasn’t myself anymore. I wasn’t anybody, I think. She nearly killed me, then, but didn’t. She… healed me. With the Force. I didn’t even know that was possible, otherwise I would have-” 

He coughs, awkwardly, looks to the side. So does Hux. Maybe they’re thinking the same thing: What would have been different if Kylo had known about the healing. Many things, or nothing at all. There’s no way to tell now. It’s all in the past.

“Anyway, after that, she left, and I was more confused than ever. I had… a crisis of faith. I wasn’t Kylo anymore in that moment. My parents, they… well, it doesn’t matter. Kylo Ren died in that moment, I think. And I became Ben again.” 

And he has to look at Hux again now, has to see his face, his reaction. Hux’s face betrays nothing at first, for a few torturous seconds, and Kylo isn’t sure if he should have admitted it, but he doesn’t want to lie to Hux. Hux deserves to know, after everything. 

Finally, Hux sighs. His lips pull down again, he looks displeased, but also strangely hesitant. 

“And who are you now? Are you still… Ben? Or Kylo Ren? Or someone else entirely?” 

He looks like he’s scared of the answer. Kylo can’t blame him. There was a time when Ben was one of the biggest threats to what they had. 

“No. Not with you. I’m Kylo Ren, with you. Always.” It takes effort to steady his voice, and he doesn’t entirely succeed, but he still looks at Hux hopefully. It’s important that Hux understands this, he has to understand that Kylo could never be anyone else when they’re together, never. 

Hux nods. His face is a careful mask of indifference, and Kylo can’t know what is happening underneath, but he thinks it’s not all bad, with the way Hux’s cheeks take on a pink tinge and he avoids Kylo’s intense gaze. 

“Ah. I see. Well, what happened then?” 

Kylo clears his throat again. “I helped her. I… went to her, to Palpatine, and she defeated him. It drained her. She died, then. And I was… I couldn’t let that happen. So I healed her. But it drained me. Healing, it doesn’t just work like that, you have to give your own life force to the other person. It drained me. It worked, but it drained me. I passed out after. I thought… I thought I’d die. I was sure I was dead.” 

“Well, you weren’t though,” Hux says. Stating the obvious. 

Kylo chuckles. “No, I wasn’t. I woke up, later, alone. I was injured and weakened, but I was alive. Different though.” 

Hux frowns, shuffles closer ever so slightly. It makes Kylo’s heart speed up again, makes his hands clammy, to be even a few centimeters closer to Hux. 

“Different how?” he asks with furrowed brows. He knows there’s something there, something important. Hux has always been dangerously perceptive. 

Kylo would prefer not to tell him, in all honesty. He’s scared. Of what Hux will think of him. He’ll find him lacking, of course. It’s inevitable. He’s not the same, will never be the same. Not nearly as powerful, and hadn’t his power been the thing that drew Hux to him in the first place?

“I- The Force, it’s- I can’t use it anymore. Not really.” 

Silence. His heart beats a rapid staccato against his ribcage, in time with the rain on the window, while he waits for Hux to react. But Hux just stares, wide-eyed, uncomprehending. Kylo can’t blame him. It was hard to grasp for him too, at first. He’d spend his whole life with the Force always at his service, and suddenly it was gone. All that was left was a confused humming undercurrent everywhere he went, a mess of _things_ , but never anything strong enough to pick out specifics. He hasn’t so much as moved a leaf since then. 

The first thing he’s felt in the Force clearly in all those years is Hux. 

“Oh,” he finally says, voice slightly shaky, and then: “That’s… bad.” 

Kylo snorts, despite everything. It’s good to know he’s not the only one who feels a bit like a fish out of water right now. Hux flushes red, bristles briefly, but then he snorts too. 

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. I’m also sorry about… the Force. I can’t say I understand any of it, but I know it was important to you. That must have been hard.” 

Kylo nods. “It was. Especially in the beginning. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt like I suddenly couldn’t see anymore, like I was stumbling around blind and deaf and without feeling anything. But I managed to get away from that place eventually. I felt different, then, like I had been reborn, made anew.” 

“Where did you go then?” Hux asks, curious. “How did you survive, without the Force?” 

“I hid in the Unknown Regions, travelled from planet to planet, kept a low profile. I don’t think anyone has ever noticed me. And I do some smuggling sometimes. Tried bounty hunting for a while, but that didn’t stick. I have a new mask for jobs, so nobody recognizes me.” 

“I hope your new mask looks better than your old one,” Hux says with a chuckle. 

Kylo smiles at him hesitantly, but more relaxed than before. It’s a good sign that Hux is joking. 

“It doesn’t sound like an occupation the Light Side would approve of though,” he adds.

“No, certainly not. I’m not sure that’s where I’d be, if I still had the Force,” Kylo admits. He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, drags his fingers through his hair, snagging at the knots. “When I… woke up, came back, without the Force… I felt like I couldn’t be Ben anymore. I’d been him and did what I had to do, but I think he died that day, for good. I took on a different name when I escaped. I thought Kylo was dead too. But he’s not. I’m not.” 

Hux doesn’t understand anything about the Force. He’d never wanted to, thinking it was stupid. He probably still doesn’t understand anything about it now, but he’d always listened to Kylo when the pull to the Light was too strong, and he’s listening now, trying to comprehend. 

“And how did you survive?” Kylo asks, unwilling to let the silence grow heavy between them again. 

Hux’s face immediately darkens, the memories making an angry fire spark to light in his eyes. 

“Pryde shot me, as you may know. But it wasn’t fatal. They dragged me away, and I was nearly unconscious, bleeding, humiliated. It hurt like nothing I’d ever felt before. But they thought I was dead, and didn’t pay attention. I had my blaster, still, because why would you disarm a corpse? I shot the troopers escorting me, dragged myself to an escape pod, and fled. There was barely enough bacta for the chest wound. I had to concentrate on that, otherwise I wouldn’t have survived. It’s why I couldn’t take care of my leg until later. The pod landed on a planet close by, and from there on I kept running. I never looked back.” 

Hux’s lips form a grim line, and he glares. Kylo is unsure whether the glare is specifically directed at him, or at the whole situation. 

“It took a while before I found out the war was over. But they didn’t talk about the details in the newscast I watched. They only said that we’d lost. And they declared your death.” 

Kylo scoffs, against his better knowledge, but Hux’s word make him bristle, make something sharp and defensive in him raise its head. 

“ _We_ lost. Right,” he sneers, and he’s always been bad at shutting his mouth, even when he knows he should. 

“What? What do you mean?” 

There’s honest confusion on Hux’s face, and annoyance. The expression still familiar, even after so much time spent apart. 

“ _We_ didn’t lose,” Kylo snarls. “Palpatine lost. The Order lost. You weren’t a part of it anymore! You betrayed me!” 

“You betrayed me first!” 

They’ve both raised their voices, shouting their words, like they used to do. And it’s personal, now, Kylo knows. It’s not just about Hux betraying the Order, about Kylo betraying the Order. It’s about more than that, other betrayals, starting long before the war was over. 

Hux is right, of course. Kylo did betray him first. It started in the burning ruins of Snoke’s throne room, in the shuttle above Crait. It continued when he’d given the stormtrooper programme to someone else, when he gave Pryde the position Hux had always wanted, despite knowing the history between Pryde and Hux. Really, it’s no wonder Hux chose to betray him. 

It doesn’t mean Hux hasn’t also destroyed him in tiny ways. They started betraying each other long before Starkiller, when the thing between them started falling apart. 

But Hux is right. Kylo did it first, and Kylo did it worse. It’s his burden to live with, that knowledge.

Hux looks like he wants to shout profanities at Kylo, his face red with anger, his fists balled, and he’d be right to do so. But then he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes. Centers himself, maybe. When he opens his eyes again, he just looks sad. 

“I guess we both royally fucked up, huh?”

Kylo chuckles. “You could say that.” 

A breathy laugh escapes Hux's lips, but it doesn’t sound happy. It just sounds exhausted. The urge to reach out, to stroke a hand down his bare, pale arm, is almost overwhelmingly strong. But Hux wouldn’t want that. Kylo doesn’t need the Force to know that. He doesn’t want to make Hux uncomfortable any more than he already is, doesn’t want to drive him away, so he clenches his hands into fists in his lap, settles for staring at the freckles dotting Hux’s shoulders. They’re more prominent now, probably from the time Hux spends outside in the sun. 

Hux slumps down, his shoulders curling inwards. Once, he wouldn’t have allowed himself to be seen in such a vulnerable position, but things have changed. The anger drains out of him as quickly as it came. What’s left is resignation. 

“You know, when it was all over, when I knew I would survive, and I realized the war was lost… I mourned,” Hux mumbles. He’s looking at the blanket, twiddling a loose thread between his fingers. They look rougher, with a few tiny scars here and there - from the manual labour he does, no doubt. He’s not wearing gloves, and it’s disconcerting, how much of his skin Kylo can see. 

“I mourned, Kylo. I mourned all the years of my life I invested into a lost cause. I mourned everything I ever had, everything I ever knew, and everything I did. I mourned my men and my ship. Starkiller. The Order. By the time I decided to betray it, it had become something entirely different. I mourned _my_ Order. You know the Order was mine, Kylo, don’t even try to deny it.” 

Hux looks up then, right at Kylo. His breath catches in his throat. There’s something fierce about the set of Hux’s jaw.

“And I mourned you, too, Kylo. What we had. But I never regretted anything. And if I could go back, I’d make the same choices all over again. I did what I had to do. And I won’t apologize for that.” 

It’s all he can do not to jump Hux right then. The intensity of Hux’s stare, the stubborn way he lifts his chin, not backing down from his confession, no care in the world for Kylo’s opinion about it - it makes arousal coil low in Kylo’s gut, unexpected and all consuming. It’s that fierceness, that unwillingness to cower, that had drawn him to Hux in the first place, all those years ago. And it still does. Hell, everything about Hux still pulls him in like a magnet, and sitting here and looking at him and hearing him talk without being able to touch him is a special kind of torture. It’s not the right time and not the right place for any of it, but Kylo can’t help but let his thoughts wander, because he wants Hux, for fuck’s sake. He wants him just as much as he always did, and the desire is hitting him square in the chest, so hard he can barely breathe. This isn’t something he’d expected. He doesn’t have a plan for how to deal with all of these feelings that are resurfacing now. It’s been _seven_ years. How can Hux still make his head spin like that? 

Hux keeps watching him, oblivious to Kylo’s thoughts, which is undoubtedly for the better. When Kylo doesn’t respond, he sighs, and his gaze darkens again, making Kylo’s stomach plummet. He doesn’t like this look, doesn’t like how fast he can go from fierce to defeated. 

“Did you even notice? When Pryde shot me? Did you even care about it?” Hux asks, desperation creeping into his voice. 

And this is it, maybe, the moment of truth, the moment where Hux will throw him out, chase him away into the storm and out of his life, for good this time. Because, the truth is, he didn’t. Back then, when his mind had been all jumbled, Kylo hadn’t thought about it at all. Not until later, when the dust had settled and he’d been able to think clearly again. Only then had he realized that Hux was gone, and that he’d been too stupid to prevent it. And that hurts, to know that he’d done this to Hux. That he’d really betrayed him so thoroughly and completely. 

Kylo stays silent, doesn’t have to say anything for Hux to understand. 

Hurt flickers over Hux’s face, his eyes turn glassy. He wipes at them with the back of his hand. 

“Thought so,” he grits out, voice rough. 

“I’m. Sorry. About everything,” Kylo whispers. 

Hux nods, swallows. Swallows again, probably to make his voice work, but it still comes out sounding choked off when he speaks again. 

“Kylo. I’m trying here, really. But I just. Don’t get it. What are you doing here? What do you _want_?” 

He wants so many things, but Hux can give him none of them. There’s no answer to the question. The truth is, Kylo doesn’t really know what he wants. He’d just followed the feeling, the need to find Hux so strong he hadn’t been able to think about anything else. He still can’t really think straight, Hux’s sheer presence and the soft thrumming of his energy in the Force too distracting. But he has to say something, anything. 

“I want… you.” 

It’s plain. True. 

The second he says it, Kylo knows he couldn’t have said anything else. Nothing will ever be as true as this; he wants so many things, but most of all, he just wants Hux. 

Hux takes a sharp breath, his eyes widen with surprise. A flush spreads on his cheeks immediately. 

Kylo takes it as a sign to move forward, to say what needs to be said. This might be his only chance to make things right, and he has to take it. Has to do the right thing for once. 

“I missed you, Hux. So, so much.” 

He stops, takes a shaky breath that does shit all to steady his voice, then barrels on.

“I regret so many things now. So many things. And I wish I could take them back. I wish I could change them, but it’s too late for that. I know that. I know it’s probably too late for… for _this_ too. For you to forgive me. But I just want you to know that I’m so sorry, Hux. Please, believe me. I’d do anything in my power to change what I did. How I treated you. You didn’t deserve any of it, and I’m. I’m sorry. So, so incredibly sorry.” 

There’s more he wants to say, about how Hux makes him lose his mind even now, and that he doesn’t know how he managed to survive without him for so long, because now that he’s seen Hux again, it’s like his ribcage is just… flayed open, with everything spilling out, and there are so many feelings, and he can’t look away from Hux, can’t even imagine leaving him again, because Hux is the sun he orbits around. 

But. He’s not sure Hux would want to hear any of that, so he bites his lip so hard he can taste blood, and waits. 

Hux looks stunned by his admission. His eyes dart around Kylo’s face, almost frantic, and the glassy sheen hasn’t disappeared. If anything, it’s gotten worse. He takes a deep breath while Kylo holds his. The heavy rainfall is almost deafening. Thunder claps above them. 

“You’re right. I didn’t deserve any of it. You really screwed me over, Kylo. You hurt me _so much_.” 

The words are shaky and stab right into the soft parts of Kylo’s flayed open chest. He doesn’t allow himself to flinch away from them, needs to hear, plain and simple, from Hux, what he’s done. 

“I know. I know that now. And I’m so sorry about it, Hux. Forgive me. Please,” he pleads, his own voice breaking on the words. He can feel tears stinging in the corners of his eyes. 

Hux draws in a shaky breath, almost a sob, but not quite. He thinks about it, for what feels like ages. Doesn’t say anything. When it feels like too much time has passed, Kylo moves to uncross his legs. Hux’s silence is more than telling. He’s done everything he can to make this right, but if it’s it not enough, he doesn’t want to bother Hux any longer. It’s not Hux’s fault; Kylo probably wouldn’t forgive himself either, were their positions reversed. But when he starts to stand up, Hux shakes his head, a short, jerky motion. 

Kylo frowns at him, confused. Unsure of what to do now. 

Hux gestures with his arm towards the blanket. 

“No, stay.” 

Nothing more than that, but the words are enough, They’re everything Kylo has ever wanted to hear, a giant weight he hadn’t even noticed lifting from his shoulders. He takes a deep breath, maybe the first real one since the feeling started flaring up, and settles back down. 

“I’m… I’m not saying I forgive you,” Hux says, softly, without looking at him. “I’m not sure I ever can. It’s been years, but it still hurts so damn much to think about it sometimes. It hurts to look at you right now. Maybe it will always hurt. Maybe there will always be a part of me that despises you for what you did.” 

There’s something else he’s not saying. Kylo can feel it, can see it in the way he works his jaw. A strange sense of anticipation hangs in the air between them, an energy he can’t place, crackling and sizzling and making his whole body heat up with something he can’t describe. He leans forward involuntarily, brings his face closer to Hux’s. 

“But?” 

Hux huffs shakily, then turns his head. Looks Kylo right in the eye, matching his stare, not backing down. Never backing down. 

“But I missed you too.”

Kylo releases the breath he’s holding. The tears he’s been trying to supress finally fall from the corners of his eyes, drip down his cheeks. He doesn’t wipe them away. This is more than he ever dared to hope for. Just a few simple words, but they hold all the promises in the galaxy.

Hux blinks, and there are tears on his face too. Sniffing, he wipes them away, but more keep coming. He curses under his breath, gives up when he realises he won’t stop crying anytime soon. Then, the breath rushes out of him, he sags forward, and a sob breaks from his throat. It’s heart-wrenching, a terrible, wounded sound, but there’s something relieved about it, too. Like he’s only now allowing himself to let his emotions flow through him. 

Kylo isn’t sure whether he’s allowed to touch Hux now or not, but he can’t look at Hux crying and do nothing. Hesitantly, he stretches his hand out, puts it on Hux’s arm as gently as possible. Hux’s other hand immediately flies towards it, grabs Kylo’s wrist to hold him there. Like he doesn’t want to let Kylo go again. 

Another sob heaves out of Hux, and then another one, like a dam that’s finally broken, they won’t stop. He doesn’t make a move to wipe his tears away again, just lets them drip down his face and scrunches his eyes shut. Outside, the storm rages. 

They sit like that, both silently crying, with Kylo’s fingers wrapped around Hux’s bicep, and Hux’s fingers wrapped around Kylo’s wrist, for what feels like hours. 

Every second that passes hurts, but in a cathartic sort of way, like cutting away dead flesh from a wound, and when it passes, when they both get their breathing back under control and wipe the remnants of salty tears from their faces, Kylo feels cleaner, somehow.

Hux lets out a last whimper, one that nearly makes Kylo’s heart break anew. Then he breathes, deeply, a few times, and fixes his wet gaze onto Kylo. 

“I don’t think I can just go back to how things were,” he admits. 

Driven by courage, Kylo moves closer, lifts his free hand to brush a strand of Hux’s hair from his forehead. It’s soft against his skin, just like he remembers. He cups Hux’s cheek, gently, the scruff of his beard brushing his palm, Hux’s skin still damp and heated from crying. The touch sets Kylo aflame. 

“We don’t have to go back. Maybe it’s time to look towards the future. Maybe we can just start from the beginning again. Make something new. How about that?” 

And Hux leans into the touch ever so slightly, looks at him, eyes wide and green and infinite, and- 

“Oh, fuck it,” Hux growls. 

And then he lurches forward and smashes their lips together. 

The contact sends a shock through Kylo’s body, makes every nerve ending tingle with electricity. The sheer improbability of it all, and that it’s happening despite everything, makes him dizzy. But he doesn’t let that stop him. Instead, he dives right in, before his brain has even fully registered what’s happening. 

It’s a rough kiss, biting and harsh, years of pent up frustration passing between them as their mouths move against each other, teeth clacking and biting. Hux pushes one hand into Kylo’s hair, longer now than it used to be, and grips the strands. It sends a sharp pain through Kylo’s skull, one that makes him groan and press closer. He’s leaning halfway over Hux, crowding against him, hungry for more. 

Arousal churns low in his gut, burns through his veins and sets his entire body aflame. He slips his tongue into Hux’s mouth, licking over his lips and teeth, exploring and relearning. Hux whimpers into the kiss and leans back on his elbow, pulling Kylo up over him. 

Kylo could lose himself in this, in Hux. There are few things in the galaxy he loves more than the feeling of Hux falling apart beneath him, and he doesn’t understand how he went years without it. Now that he has this back, he’s not sure he could go without it again. He pulls back slightly, and Hux chases after him immediately, not willing to be away from Kylo for even a second. 

Kylo bites down on Hux’s lips, hard enough to hurt but not enough to make it bleed, because Hux used to like that. And he still does, apparently, because he groans, heatedly, and tightens his grip in Kylo’s hair again. 

After what feels like hours but still isn’t nearly enough, they pull apart, breathing heavily. Kylo can’t bear to be more than a few centimeters away from Hux. He presses their foreheads together while he tries to get his breathing under control. Hux’s chest is rapidly rising and falling as he gasps for air, and Kylo imagines he can feel his heart beating, with how close they are. 

“This doesn’t mean anything,” Hux murmurs. Kylo can’t look away from his lips, kiss-swollen and red, mesmerizing. “It’s not a promise of any sort, and it doesn’t mean I forgive you yet. But I-” 

Hux breaks off, takes a deep breath, tries to collect his thoughts. His face is flushed, his pupils blown, huge and black and looking at Kylo with hunger. 

“You what?” Kylo asks, voice low and rough. 

Hux swallows, then he leans forward and softly kisses Kylo’s cheek. He presses another kiss to Kylo’s jaw, drags his lips along it towards Kylo’s ear and nibbles on the shell of it. A shiver runs down Kylo’s spine, and his cock, half hard, throbs inside his pants. The attention to his ear makes a flush spread across his face. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, tilts his head to give Hux better access. 

Hux chuckles and continues gently biting along his ear, then licks it, laves his tongue along the shell until Kylo is shaking all over. He would be embarrassed that this simple attention to his ear is affecting him like this, but he can’t bring himself to care. It’s so good, and he just wants more. 

“I want you,” Hux whispers, hot breath ghosting over his ear, before biting down on the lobe sharply and then pulling back. Kylo shivers, his cock hardening further at Hux’s words alone, at the implication of them. Hux looks into his eyes, and there it is again, that all consuming fire. 

Kylo can only nod, almost frantically. 

“Yes, yes. Whatever you want. However you want, just… Yes.” 

Hux smiles at the babbling and presses a short kiss to his lips. 

“I want you inside me,” he whispers as he pulls back. 

Kylo groans, overwhelmed for a moment, and drops his head to Hux’s shoulder, mouthes at the skin there for a moment. It’s warm and tastes like sweat and sun and _Hux_. 

“Fuck, yes, Hux, yes,” Kylo growls. 

Then he tilts his head, captures Hux’s lips in a hungry kiss again. 

Hux sighs into it and lowers himself down onto his back completely, pulling Kylo with him. Their bodies press together everywhere like that, and Kylo can feel Hux’s hard cock through his pants, brushing against his own tented trousers. He grinds his hips down, and they both groan at the contact, heat shooting through Kylo’s body. 

He does it again, and Hux gasps against his lips, breaking the kiss. His hands snake down Kylo’s back and ruck up his shirt. He grips Kylo’s buttock with one hand to pull him down against him again, urges him to take up a rhythm. The other hand wanders up Kylo’s back, warm skin on warm skin, exactly what he needs but not enough. Hux’s palm feels rougher than it used to, but Hux also didn’t tend to a garden and build his own hut back when they were still together. 

“Take this off,” Hux mumbles heatedly, pulling at the fabric of Kylo’s tunic. 

Kylo hesitates for a moment, only because he doesn’t want to break away from Hux, but then he sits up and pulls the garment over his head in one quick motion. He stays sitting up as Hux’s eyes track down his torso, his slim fingers coming up to stroke over Kylo’s chest. There are scars there that Hux doesn’t know, his old ones gone after Rey had healed him, but living below the radar can be difficult, and Kylo has never been able to stay out of a fight. He hopes Hux isn’t put off by them. But Hux’s fingers trail over the scars gently, almost reverently, and he’s silent except for his still heavy breathing. The touches make shivers run down Kylo’s spine, warmth and affection and arousal and something more, something bigger, settling in his chest and making it hard to breathe. 

Then, Hux pinches his left nipple, and Kylo yelps at the sharp sting of it. Hux smirks up at him, does it again, and lifts his other hand to administer the same treatment to his right nipple. He pinches and pulls, and Kylo groans, can’t keep the sounds in. He can’t help but push his hips down against Hux’s, arch against his hands, and his eyes flutter closed as Hux keeps playing with his sensitive chest. 

“Enough,” Kylo whispers, roughly, when his nipples are red and swollen from the treatment, and his cock is leaking in his pants. He’s so hard it almost hurts, and if Hux keeps this up, he knows he’s going to come soon. But he doesn’t want to, not before he’s been inside Hux. 

“Do you have lube?” he mumbles. 

Hux takes his hands away, both a relief and a loss, and sits up. He presses a quick kiss to each of Kylo’s nipples, licks one for good measure, then rolls to his right. Kylo gives him room to move. There’s a jar on the bedside crate Hux grabs. Kylo lifts his eyebrows. Back then, Hux never would have kept his lube on his bedside table, out in the open. But he supposes there’s no reason to hide it when no one enters the hut but Hux. 

Hux rolls back, unscrews the jar's lid and sets it down. He notices Kylo’s lifted brow, his slightly suggestive smirk, and flushes even redder than he already is. 

“Why are you looking at me like this? Just because I’m alone doesn’t mean I don’t have needs,” he says, almost defensively. 

Kylo chuckles. He reaches for Hux’s wrist and pulls him in again wordlessly, kisses him. Much gentler now, trying to convey something he can’t say, and he isn’t even sure what exactly it is, but Hux seems to understand it. Hux has always understood him. He relaxes against Kylo, flicks his tongue out to gently trace Kylo’s lips, already sore from kissing. Then, he pulls away and pulls his singlet over his head, throws it away carelessly. 

Kylo’s heart nearly stops. 

There’s a huge scar on Hux’s chest. Right in the middle, gnarled, reddened skin, a splintered shape. An exploding star. 

“Is… everything alright?” Hux asks, hesitantly, when he notices Kylo staring. His voice unsure. 

Kylo doesn’t know whether to nod or shake his head. The sight makes him want to cry. This thing, the remainder of what must have been the blaster bolt intended to kill Hux- it breaks something inside him. He knows Pryde is long dead, but seeing the scar tissue, almost spanning Hux’s entire chest, makes him want to kill Pryde all over again. 

It must have hurt terribly. And with only a limited quantity of bacta… he can’t even imagine the amount of pain Hux must have been in. 

He never wants Hux to hurt like that again. Kylo knows, deep in his bones, that he’s going to do everything in his power to keep Hux from harm, until his last day. 

Kylo leans forward slowly, so as not to startle Hux. He pushes Hux down by the shoulders, until he’s lying on his back, the blanket rumpled underneath him. With his red hair strewn around his face, mouth slightly open and eyes shining, Hux looks otherworldly. 

Without a word, Kylo lowers his body until his face is level with Hux’s chest. He presses a soft kiss to his collarbone, and because he knows Hux used to like it, bites down slightly. Hux arches against him, the raised skin of the scar brushing against Kylo’s chest, and the knot in his stomach clenches again. He presses a kiss to Hux’s other collarbone, then to the hollow between them. Hux sighs above him. His finger snake into Kylo’s hair, not pulling this time, just gently resting on the back of his head. 

His lips ghost over Hux’s chest, lower, until he reaches the edges of the scar. He hesitates only briefly before kissing that too, the skin uneven under his lips. Hux’s fingers twitch in his hair, but he allows the gentle touches, for now. Kylo kisses down the left side of the scar, the splintered looking edges of it, feels the raised bumps. He does the same to the right side of it, flicks his tongue against Hux’s nipple briefly, because it’s right there, but doesn’t linger. 

Carefully, he presses his lips right to the center of the scar. The skin is a dark red there, gnarled tissue where it knitted back together, the place where the blaster bolt had hit raised and uneven. Hux takes a shaky breath as Kylo brushes his lips over the sensitive skin, his chest raising against the touch. Kylo kisses him again, then lets his lips rest there for a moment, closes his eyes. Tries to convey to Hux what he can’t put into words, the weight of his affection, how beautiful Hux is to him, still. Always. He whispers it into Hux’s skin, softly, not sure at first whether Hux hears it, but then he makes a choked off sound.

“Kylo.” 

It sounds like a plea. 

Kylo raises his head, looks up at Hux. Their eyes meet. There are tears gathered in the corners of Hux’s eyes, again, but there’s also something else; burning, all consuming. 

“I need you. Now. Please”, he whispers, voice harsh. 

And Kylo had never been able to resist when Hux begged like that, can’t even think of denying him now. He nods, reaches for the waistband of Hux’s trousers and pulls them down. Hux is wearing cotton briefs underneath. There’s a wet spot where his dick is straining against the fabric. Kylo pulls them down too, and then off, discarding them carelessly.

He barely wastes any time before he leans down again, bringing his face level with Hux’s crotch. His cock curls up towards his stomach, chubby and dark red and leaking at the tip. It looks exactly the same as it did the last time Kylo saw it, which is a stupid thing to think, but Kylo can’t help it. He’d always loved Hux’s cock, and he can feel himself salivating slightly at the sight of it now. There’s really nothing he can do but lean towards it and lick a long stripe up the underside of it. 

Hux moans, long and drawn out, as Kylo mouthes at the tip, pressing his tongue against the slit. The hand in his hair tightens, insistently, and Kylo takes him into his mouth properly. It’s been a while since he’s done this; taking lovers is always a risk when one is on the run. But, though he is a bit rusty, he hasn’t forgotten the mechanics completely. He gags briefly as he tries to take all of Hux at once, and pulls back, instead shallowly bobs his head for a while. Above him, Hux moans, twists his fingers into Kylo’s hair. 

The hot weight of Hux’s cock on his tongue, the taste of him, and the smell, strongest down here, are comfortingly familiar. He opens his mouth wider, tries to take Hux deeper, relaxes his throat until his nose touches Hux’s pubes. Arousal shoots through him, his cock straining against his trousers. He could probably come like this, it wouldn’t be the first time. But no, not yet, not yet. 

He can feel the tension in Hux’s thighs, the effort it takes him to hold back, to not fuck up into Kylo’s throat relentlessly. Out of consideration, no doubt. Though Kylo would love for Hux to use him like this, he’s not sure he could manage it right now, with how overwhelmed he already feels, how close to bursting, and also, still somewhat clumsy as he bobs his head, moves his tongue in what he hopes is the right way. Though this is still familiar, it needs some getting reacquainted, too. 

The hand in his hair tightens even more, pain tingling sharply across Kylo’s scalp. He pulls back, and Hux’s dick drops out of his mouth with an obscene pop. Hux’s hips twitch, and a fat drop of precome leaks from the tip of his dick. Kylo licks it up, greedily, and keeps administering tiny kitten licks to the slit. The way a shiver runs through Hux’s entire body at the gentle touch is more than satisfying, and it makes Kylo smirk. 

“That’s enough, Kylo. Get on with it,” Hux says, and maybe it’s supposed to be a demand, but it comes out sounding wrecked and breathless. 

Kylo presses one last kiss to the tip before scooting up again. As soon as he’s looking at Hux’s face again, Hux wraps his arms around Kylo’s shoulders and pulls him into a heated kiss. He licks into Kylo’s mouth sloppily, no doubt tasting himself on Kylo’s tongue, and moans shamelessly into the kiss. 

When they break apart, they’re both impatient and frantic. Kylo shimmies out of his pants and underwear, miraculously without getting tangled in the fabric. When he looks back at Hux, he’s on his back with his legs spread, fingers already working between them, opening himself up with slick noises. He moans breathily, his eyes fluttering closed, as he moves his fingers inside himself, pumping them in and out in a quick rhythm.

The sight of him is mesmerizing, his whole body flushed red with arousal, and it catches Kylo off guard, that he can have this again. That, after everything he did and everything that happened and all that time spent apart, they can still come together like this again. 

Hux only has two fingers working himself open, put he pulls them out with a lewd squelching sound and shoves the lube at Kylo. 

“Here, get yourself slick, I’m ready,” he pants. 

Though Kylo isn’t sure if Hux is really ready to take him, he doesn’t protest, too impatient now to care. He just wants to feel Hux. He probably scoops too much lube out of the jar and gets his hand around himself before it’s even warmed up. The drag of his own hand against his cock makes him hiss, it feels much too good and brings him much too close. He’s so hard it hurts, and he feels close to bursting. As he spreads the lube, jerks himself a couple of times, a deep moan punches out of him. 

When he’s done, he crowds close to Hux, settles between his legs, and it takes them a bit of maneuvering, a few seconds to remember this part. Hux tells him to take care of his leg, the injury still troubling him, and Kylo tries to position himself carefully, takes himself in hand and guides his cock to Hux’s swollen hole, the head catching on Hux’s rim, and Hux grips his biceps so hard he thinks it might bruise later, and then he starts pushing in, and it’s heaven. 

As he finally pushes into Hux’s welcoming heat, he sees white, feels like his soul is briefly leaving his body. His consciousness extends and then narrows, until only he and Hux remain, joined in this most intimate way. Kylo moans loudly, his eyes rolling back in his head, and Hux makes a high, keening noise. His arms lock around Kylo’s neck, and he pulls him down, pulls him as close as he can, while Kylo keeps pushing in, slowly. It’s nearly overwhelming, the soft hot velvety feeling of Hux around him, the way he clenches and whimpers every time Kylo shoves deeper, and he isn’t sure he’s going to last. 

When he bottoms out, they stay still, breathing heavily and adjusting for a few seconds. Hux’s face is wet, tears running freely down his temples and into his hair. Kylo can feel himself tearing up again, too, and he doesn’t care to hide or stop it; with Hux, he can let himself be seen. 

“Good?” he asks, voice breaking on the word. 

Hux nods, pulls him closer. “Yes, so good. You can move, if you want.” 

And then he pulls Kylo into another kiss, this one somehow both more heated and softer than before. Kylo pulls out ever so slightly, then rocks gently forward, pushing a moan out of Hux. Once, he could have felt everything that Hux felt, multiplied by the Force. He can’t feel anything like that now, and he can’t search Hux’s mind for what to do, how to move to make it good for Hux. But he doesn’t need it. He moves on instinct, listens to all the sounds Hux makes, every little whimper, every sigh and every cry. He notices the way Hux’s body clenches and tenses and releases when he pushes in. And it’s so good, somehow even better than he can remember it ever being before, and he never wants to stop. 

When he tilts his hips just so, pushes into Hux at a different angle, Hux throws his head back and screams, a sound of pleasure and desperation, and Kylo litters his face with kisses. Hux’s legs wrap around his waist as he speeds up his thrusts, pushing into Hux steadily at a faster pace. They’re rocking together, Hux pulling Kylo in, pulling him closer. 

Kylo kisses Hux again, can’t get enough of the taste of him, and savors the drag of heat and slickness where he’s pushing into Hux again and again, racing rapidly towards the edge now. Need is permeating his entire being, arousal burning every cell of his body, and he knows he can’t last any longer. Hux’s cock is leaking steadily between their bodies, brushing against his belly on every thrust. 

Kylo shifts his weight, changes his angle to drive deeper, and Hux cries out as Kylo hits his prostate again, then again. He’s at the point of no return now, can’t think straight, and there’s only Hux, only the feeling of them being together as one, and the sounds of their union. If Kylo still had the Force, he’s sure he’d make every object in the room fly. But as it is, he can only keep moving, can only kiss Hux, hard and desperate, and let the feeling overtake him. 

His orgasm curls through his whole body, tingling from his fingertips to his toes and coming together in his groin. He shouts as he starts coming, vision going white once again, and his body goes taut, fucking Hux through it because there’s nothing else he can do. It’s pure bliss, shattering his entire being and remaking him again. 

Hux follows suit, shouting and then coming untouched between them. He clenches around Kylo, milking a few last spurts from him, before it’s over and Kylo collapses on top of Hux, panting. He presses his lips to Hux’s as good as he can, and they kiss, a sloppy, hazy thing in the aftermath. 

After a while, Hux swats Kylo on the chest. 

“You’re crushing me,” Hux mumbles, his words slurred. He hasn’t even opened his eyes completely, is sleepy and sex-drunk. 

Kylo pulls out with a chuckle, and come starts leaking out of Hux immediately. His hole his puffy and red, and Kylo watches for a second, fascinated, before he realizes that that’s probably kind of weird, and maybe inappropriate, and he doesn’t want to ruin the cozy afterglow just yet. Instead he rolls over, lays down on his back, the blanket soft underneath him. 

Sweat is starting to cool on their bodies, the come getting tacky, but neither of them move to clean up. Hux rolls over too. He cuddles up to Kylo, puts his head down on Kylo’s chest, like he used to do, years ago, in their quarters on the Finalizer. Though Hux was always shaved clean back then, and now his beard tickles ever so slightly. Kylo wraps his arm around Hux, pulls his slim frame closer, and Hux understands it as the invitation that it is, tilts his head up for Kylo to press a kiss against his lips. Hux sighs into it, opens his mouth and licks at Kylo’s lips, slow and unhurried. 

Kylo knows Hux hasn’t forgiven him. He knows nothing about this is certain, that they’re just at the beginning of something entirely new, and, frankly, terrifying. But the kiss still tastes like the promise of something, like a future unknown that they’re going to explore, together. It tastes like hope, and something expands in Kylo’s chest, the feeling he’d followed to Hux earlier humming and thrumming and wrapping around them like a blanket. He can’t remember ever being happier. 

Outside, the rain has stopped almost completely. There are only a few stray drops trickling down the window, and no thunder can be heard. The sky is clearer now, lighter. 

The storm has passed.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be 4k. It obviously kind of escalated.  
> I have never written so many words in such a short amount of time, and the last three days are honestly a bit of a blur because I spent so much time writing. It's also 4 am and I can't think straight anymore, but I also really wanted to post the fic, so! Here it is.
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/aelandair)!


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